i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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