K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
