Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Need sex. Gaining weight.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
