everyone is single if you try hard enough
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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