She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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