No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
