Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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