hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
