i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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