Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
