Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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