wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
