no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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