Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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