think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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