Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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