I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
