how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
