so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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