Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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