i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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