right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
