Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
