Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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