went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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