we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
