Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(904): View more from Florida

i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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(818): View more from California

sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom

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(561): View more from Florida

And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."

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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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(949): View more from California

I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library

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(785): View more from Kansas

Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast

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