so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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