my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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