Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
