what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
