her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
