Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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