i can't believe i had my finger in that
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
