smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
