I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
