Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
