I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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