I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
