So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
