Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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