it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
