First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
