so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He felt like a one man threesome
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
