Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
