I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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