he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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