so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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