Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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