So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
