"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Blood and glitter go together right?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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