he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
